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| January | February | March |
| April | May | June |
| July | August | September |
| October | November | December |
1st of October
1781 Astronomer William Herschel accidentally discovered the planet Uranus - Let me assure you that I am here by accident, but accidents have been known to happen on this day ... on this day etc.'
2nd of October
1950 Charlie Brown and Snoopy and friends made their first public appearance - 'Tonight as I stand here with my thumb in my mouth and holding my comforting table napkin to my ear I'm reminded that ... on this day etc.'
3rd of October
1899 The Boer War began - 'Now I'm not going to bore you tonight but do you know that ... on this day etc.'
4th of October
1829 John Thompson of London designed the first greeting card - 'Greetings ladies and gentlemen, do you know that ... on this day etc.'
5th of October
1954 Rocker Bob Geldof was born - 'When I woke up this morning I said to myself 'I don't like Monday' and then I was reminded that ... on this day etc.'
6th of October
1985 Nigel Mansell won his first Grand Prix - If you think I'm getting through this speech fast it's probably because ... on this day etc.'
7th of October
1876 Sarah Bernhardt promoted the idea of a trouser suit for women - 'I'll start by skirting the issue and telling you that ... on this day etc.'
8th of October
1680 The world's first comedy theatre, La Comedie Francaise, was opened - 'I'll understand it if you poke fun at me tonight because ... on this day etc.'
9th of October
1508 Leonardo da Vinci first suggested the use of contact lenses - 'As I was madly looking for a way to get out of making this speech I was reminded that ... on this day etc.'
10th of October
1792 Sir John Betjeman was appointed Poet Laureate - 'I can assure you that I am not well versed in the art of public speaking although I am reminded that ... on this day etc.'
11th of October
1986 Laser surgery was first used - 'I wondered why I have this funny pain in my tummy ... on this day etc.'
12th of October
1808 The first practical typewriter was build by Italian Pellegrino for a blind friend - 'As I blindly fumble for my notes I am reminded that ... on this day etc.'
13th of October
1997 Andy Green broke the sound barrier in his supersonic car Thrust - 'Ladies and gentlemen wait until you hear this ... ... on this day etc.'
14th of October
1066 the Battle of Hastings was fought... and won! - Ladies and Gentlemen this is definitely a day for hasting through my speech... on this day etc.'
15th of October
1988 Stephen Hawking published his best-seller A Brief History of Time - Ladies and gentlemen I will be brief ... because ... on this day etc.'
16th of October
1815 Napoleon was exiled to St. Helena - Ladies and Gentlemen you'd never guess where I'm going after I finish this speech ... on this day etc.'
17th of October
1931 Al Capone was sentenced to 11 years in prison for tax evasion - 'I have something very taxing to say to you... on this day etc.'
18th of October
1792 The first Ambulance was designed by Napoleon's personal surgeon - Ladies and gentlemen as I stand here tonight there is a little siren going off in my head. Maybe it's because ... on this day etc.'
19th of October
1849 American inventor Walter Hurst patented the safety-pin - Ladies and Gentlemen last time I stood up to make a speech my trousers fell down but I can assure you that this won't happen tonight because ... on this day etc.'
20th of October
1946 Muffin the Mule made his TV debut - 'Before I make a complete ass of myself tonight can I tell you that ... on this day etc.'
21st of October
1805 Nelson was killed at Trafalgar - 'As I look out on an ocean of swimming faces I'm reminded that ... on this day etc.'
22th of October
1797 Andre-Jacques Garnerin made the first-ever parachute jump 'Here goes! Before I make the big jump I am reminded that ... on this day etc.'
23th of October
1940 Soccer legend Pele was born today - 'As I stand here wondering what to say to you a little voice in my head keeps saying 'shoot!' ... on this day etc.'
24th of October
1910 Neon lighting was displayed for the first time at the Paris Motor Show - 'I'm afraid that the speech I have prepared for you is not a candle on the fact that ... on this day etc.'
25th of October
1905 The Cullinan, the largest known rough diamond, was discovered in South Africa - 'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking I am comforted by the fact that... on this day etc.'
26th of October
1881 The Gunfight at OK Corral took place on this day - 'Please don't shoot me if you don't like what I say ... on this day etc.'
27th of October
1958 Blue Peter was first televised - 'Maybe the reason why I'm feeling a bit blue today is because ... on this day etc.'
28th of October
1949 Sooty and Sweep made their first television debut - 'Huh! I thought I was going to share my speech debut today with somebody famous but... on this day etc.'
29th of October
1843 The world's first telegram were sent from Paddington to Slough - ' An odd thing has just happened to me, a telegram has just arrived saying 'please don't speak! ... and I am reminded that .... on this day etc.'
30th of October
1938 Americans panicked and people evacuated their homes when Orson Welles read The War of The Worlds on Radio - 'please don't evacuate the room as I read my speech... on this day etc.'
31st of October
1891 American Express introduced the first Travellers' Cheque - 'Pssssst! Wanna know how to get rid of me ... on this day etc.'